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Last night, I met a spotted tiger. He was in the bushes down the hill where my basketball had rolled. I was late for the triple jump competition on the other side of the hill and was in quite a hurry to gather my ball which was bouncing farther and farther away. By the time I saw the tiger he was already seeing me. His head made a slow movement in my direction and in a short moment he had covered the distance between us. He took higher ground and I stood transfixed upon his massive and majestic frame. Our eyes locked. No contest. I was very satisfied and at peace with whatever might transpire next. I noticed a peace-full-ness inside that even this spotted tiger could not move me from. He could not eat it, he could not chase it out of me. It was going with me wherever I went.  

Obviously, he didn’t eat me. But he did show me around and sent me back up the hill with my basketball along a beautiful stone wall that I made a blockbuster hit song about as I skipped next to it. Somehow the lyrics and melody didn’t follow me into the fully waking state or I’d be typing them and singing them.

What did follow me is that peace. 

For many years, I experienced sleep paralysis. At least 4-5 times a year, I would “awaken” to some menacing apparition. A witch walking by our apartment window and casting her paralyzing spell on my body. A demon-like beast sitting on my chest, choking me. A hand holding me under water, holding me down. A shadowy figure sucking the air out of my lungs, bearing down on me with red eyes. The whole works.

I think that I finally got tired of it and just decided to let it all happen. Okay. Here we go. Take me if you need to. I’ll be right here.

And it did. A few more times. And then I suppose it just got old and I needed something else to work with. 

Like spotted tigers.

I’m not sure how much sleep paralysis had to do with fear - perhaps I just needed to change the angle of my head on my pillow so I could breathe better. 

But there was certainly an element of fear involved. I would often be somewhat terrified of it happening again and didn’t really enjoy it.

Until I just faced it. Or surrendered. Or let go. Or opened my eyes to what it was that was noticing that fear in the first place.

Stepping behind it all and noticing that who I was/am is unchanging loving awareness in which the changing flow of life arises. 

Spotted tigers, included.

That unchanging loving awareness is akin to equanimity. Unshakeable peace.

What the fear does is shake off the shakeable.

And it reveals what is solid and pure and true and timeless and changeless and peace-full.

Perfect love. Perfect peace. And perfectly spotted tigers.