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One week ago, I woke up lying face-down on a gravel road next to my bike. Today, my body is still in shambles from the hallucination-filled journey to and from that spot.
How did I get there? And why?
Aside from the physical reasons, I think the answer lies somewhere in the realm of “integrity.” Think of integrity as less doing the right thing and more as wholeness and congruence.
We always have the appropriate response to every situation. It’s built into our systems.
However, we often disregard and repress the messengers of one or more of the following: body, mind, emotion, feeling, spirit. When we shut down the messengers, it’s similar to chipping away at the structural integrity of a building. Just as we would lose trust in such a compromised building, we begin to trust ourselves less and less.
We feel lost. We end up making decisions that are not optimal. We estrange ourselves from others. We wonder why nothing satisfies us. We try to prove ourselves. And the list goes on.
In other words, there is a wisdom that comes from welcoming the messengers of our bodies, minds, emotions, feelings, and spirits.
And then there is the fool’s way that demands its own way, represses messengers, and instead listens to the voices of a now-inflated ego filled with a desire to prove itself, to conquer, to win, to separate, etc.
I apparently chose the latter. 😃
Looking back, it now seems fairly clear that I had had the stomach flu the whole night before our bike trip.
There were OBVIOUS signs.
Before I left the house, I literally chased the following thoughts away:
“There is no way I should be leaving my bed today. I feel very sick. I could call so-and-so and they could do the ride without me.”
But I was so consumed with beating my vision issues that I put on the reality blinders.
I was consumed with showing up and finishing a ride I had organized. Consumed with showing I had grit. Consumed with fighting through symptoms. Then, finally, consumed with making it back to the car on my own once it was clear I could not finish the ride with the group. At least there would be some honor in that, right?
Says who? Where did that voice come from?
You see, this is bigger than biking.
It’s about learning how to live lives out of our wholeness.
Not lives to prove ourselves to others. Not lives to stroke our ego. Not lives to show we have what it takes.
But lives where we realize we all have an infinite supply of all we need. Lives where we listen to the messengers, including the ego in its rightful place, and do so out of a place of wholeness and integrity.
Lives where we live out of the knowledge that we already have all it takes.
Perhaps you’re as tired of chasing your tail as I am. Tired of keeping up with the Joneses, tired of living a fragmented life, tired of being disappointed in hollow cultural messages, tired of #ftw, tired of comparing, and instead want to live your life in response to your wholeness. You know what to do.
It begins with listening.
There is no science to it. No steps, although many have devoted lives to creating helpful protocols.
But you don’t have to have a protocol or a program. You don’t need a step.
What you do need is to respond out of your wholeness. To stop repressing unwanted messengers and to stop chipping away at your ability to trust yourself.
The time to begin is now. You know what to do.
No need to wait until you wake up with your face in the dirt.
But if you do wake up with your face in the dirt, you know what to do 😃.